It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
