i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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