Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
