He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Barsexuality is the new black.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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