I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
