Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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