So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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