Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
