All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
