We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
