she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
