The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm too high and old for this...
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