was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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