I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
