Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
