i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize