If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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