OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
