no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
