i will never coherently bang her
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize