so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
