the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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