I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
