I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize