1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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