I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
