ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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