and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
