Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
PANTIES FOUND
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