I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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