dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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