i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
