my phone needs a breathalizer
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
