she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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