I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
