Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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