she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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