All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
