Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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