I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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