Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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