All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
