too bad you live with your parents still
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
