I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
