Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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