I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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