I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
