i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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