You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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