Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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