omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
