Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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