Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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