You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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