I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
