Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
