I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
