Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
