they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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