I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
