i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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